The Foxcatcher
by Shadow Sakura
Summary: Arthur learns something about Merlynn, and about himself in the process. Girl!Merlin/Arthur Rated M for language.


Merlynn was folding and putting away Arthur's laundry as he looked over the documents his advisors had sent for the negotiations next week. There was a knock at his chamber door, which the king answered with a distracted "Enter."

Leon walked through the door, approaching Arthur's chair. "The trainee knights are ready for their frst day, Sire."

"Of course," the younger man said, rising from his seat. "Merlynn-" But the young woman was already bringing him his armor, and began dressing him while he spoke casually with Leon.

"Did you enjoy the new court musician at dinner last night, Sire?" Leon asked, and if Arthur didn't know any better he would say there was pride in his voice. "A very impressive debut."

"Yes, his skill with the violin is undeniable," Arthur agreed. "He will surely impress when we have distinguished visitors."

"His technique still needs work," Merlynn said matter-of-factly, almost absentmindedly as she tied his red cape about his shoulders.

Arthur could hardly believe her. "How dare you?" he ground out. Merlynn's eyes snapped to his own as she finished tying the knot and stepped back.

"S-Sire?"

"I'll have you know that Bradyn has studied with a tutor for many months to achieve the necessary skill to become court musician."

"Of course, I-"

"And for you to stand there criticizing him, the hours and hours of time and blood and sweat he spent learning his craft, having never worked so hard to master something in your life! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The look in Merlynn's eyes was no longer surprise at her scolding but a deep, deep hurt. "Arthur, I-"

"Get out of my sight."

Merlynn only stared at him for several seconds, mouth agape, before schooling her features, gathering her skirts, and curtsying. "Sire." She turned and fled the room.

Arthur shook his head, not seeing the look of shock and borderline anger on the face of his lead knight, who had remained silent during the exchange. "Can you believe her? The arrogance!"

"Permission to speak freely, my lord?"

"Of course," Arthur granted, facing him fully, only to be surprised by the heat in the other man's voice.

"Merlynn's right about something, Sire. You're an idiot and a prat."

Arthur was left to stare in confusion as Leon walked out of his chambers without another word.

* * *

Arthur didn't see Merlynn for the rest of the day, but his chambers were spotless when he returned to them in the early evening. She was nowhere to be seen, and it took him a moment to remember it was her evening off. He was slightly disappointed - he had intended to apologize for his harshness, even though she had been so rude.

Not a minute had gone by before his doors opened, but instead of a raven-haired maidservant he saw Gwaine, Elyan, and Lancelot barge in without permission.

"I didn't say you could enter," Arthur said exasperatedly, knowing full well they didn't care.

"We heard about what you said to Merlynn this morning," Gwaine said without preamble, anger simmering just under the surface. "I'll not stand for her to be treated like that." It was well-known that while all the knights viewed Merlynn as a sister, none did so more than Gwaine, and they were incredibly close fiends.

"Need I remind you that I am king?" Arthur drawled, a bit amused. "I can scold my maidservant as I see fit."

"Not when you're wrong," Elyan cut in.

"Excuse me?"

"You need to come with us, Arthur. There's something you need to see," Lancelot told him, holding out a worn cloak.

"It disguise?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"Trust me," Lancelot insisted. "You'll be glad of it."

* * *

They took him to the bloody tavern, of all places, guiding him to a table hidden mostly in shadow. Arthur could see a few other knights around, including Leon, who had remained cool towards him for the remainder of the day, and Percival.

Arthur had never spent much time in the tavern, was certainly too busy now as king, but had always found the atmosphere to be pleasant. A young woman played the violin in a corner on a small stage, and laughter and conversation were slightly louder to be heard over it.

"Why are we here?" Arthur asked, not really expecting an answer.

"You'll see," Elyan replied. At that moment, the tavern door opened again and Merlynn entered. She wore the same blue dress she'd worn that day, but her hair was down from its braid, falling in waves down her back. She looked around, before noticing Leon and Percival, taking a seat between them as Leon handed her a mug of ale.

The table of four sat quietly with their own drinks for a short while. The crowd applauded politely when the young woman finished her song, and instead of beginning another she left the stage walking through the tables and handing the violin to...to...

To Merlynn.

She took the instrument with a smile and walked to the stage, joined by two other patrons with a guitar and a small hand drum. The residents of the tables nearest the stage were clearing their tables, holding their mugs securely in their laps, a gesture Arthur mimicked when his own table-mates did so.

His confusion only grew as Merlynn drew the bow across the strings, starting a pleasant, lilting jib that the people around him seemed to recognize. She was soon joined by the other two musicians.

Arthur took a large gulp of his ale. "Okay, so she plays a little, that-"

"Shh!" the other three cut him off, not even looking at him. Arthur rolled his eyes, resigning himself to the show.

The song transitioned quickly into a much faster tempo, and the crowd around Arthur cheered as Merlynn, fingers becoming a blur as she played, leapt from the stage and began to dance, jump, and spin around the tavern. The cheers grew when she stepped onto a chair and then a table, dancing and leaping from tabletop to tabletop. That explained the tables being cleared off, as she had no problem kicking over the mugs that had been left in her way, to the delight of the other patrons.

It hit Arthur suddenly that this was a regular occurrence, a part of Merlynn's life he had no idea existed. He smirked a bit behind the large hood he'd been forced to wear. Seven years she'd been in his life and she still surprised him.

The song ended with a flourish to a loudly cheering tavern, which turned into moans of protest when Merlynn put down the violin and returned to her seat.

"Sorry, everyone, it's been a long day," she smiled to the crowd, but as she turned to Leon and Percival, Arthur could see a shadow of the same deep hurt he had witnessed earlier.

"She does this every week on her night off," Elyan told the king quietly. "She's the tutor Bradyn has been learning from, when's she's not breaking her back cleaning up after you."

Arthur's eyes snapped to him, then both of the other men in turn. "She never told me."

Gwaine's fist balled up as though he meant to hit the blond haired man, but he just shoved his chair back angrily, leaving without a backwards glance. He crossed the tavern to Merlynn's table, stealing the mug from her hands and downing it with a wink.

"You owe me another," they heard her say blandly, unperturbed.

Arthur turned to the other men. "What?"

Elyan just shook his had and rose much more quietly, leaving the tavern altogether. Lancelot stood as well, leaning against the table and catching the king's eye.

"She _has_ , Arthur. We've paid her compliments in front of you. You just never paid attention."

"No," Arthur was already shaking his head. "That can't be. I know Merlynn."

"Yes, my lord, you do," Lancelot agreed firmly. "You know _who she is_ , but ask yourself, Arthur - how much do you _actually_ know _about_ her?" Arthur remained silent, and after a long moment Lancelot sighed and left the tavern as well.

Arthur remained alone at the shadowed table for a while, watching Merlynn and thinking. _'Her hair is lovely down,'_ came to mind unbidden, and he shook the thought, finally leaving the tavern himself, hood pulled low to ensure his concealment.

* * *

Merlynn was quiet the next morning as she bustled around his chambers. She dressed him without meeting his eyes before turning to change his sheets and make his bed. His breakfast already waited on the table.

"Merlynn," Arthur started, still not entirely sure what he wanted to say to her. She stopped at his door, dirty linens in hand, turning her head back slightly but not facing him.

"Yes, Sire?"

Arthur suddenly found himself at a loss for words. "I, uh...I..."

"I have much to do today, my lord."

The king swallowed. She was being much more formal than usual, he actually missed her insolence. "Of course, I just...about yesterday morning..."

"I apologize for having spoken out of turn," Merlynn said, cool and detached. "You were right, I am in no position to judge." She still had not turned to face him.

To Arthur's great surprise, shame flooded him at her lie. "Stop, Merlynn. I was at the tavern last night." He watched her spine straighten in tension, then watched it drain from her as her shoulders slumped.

"Who told you?" She sounded weary, resigned, and still didn't turn to face him. Arthur convinced himself that didn't break his heart.

"Last night? Gwaine, Elyan, and Lancelot. But Lancelot also told me you'd mentioned it before, and they had as well, and I just...I didn't hear it."

"Think nothing of it, Sire."

"No, Merlynn, I...I'm sorry."

She finally turned at this, and Arthur was only a little surprised at the rage in her blue eyes "Are you? Are you sorry? What are you sorry about? That you embarrassed yourself in front of your lead knight? That you've had to eat your words? That you're a ruddy clotpole with no thought for anyone but himself?"

"Merlynn, I-"

"No! I can't do this anymore! All these years, I've followed you into battle, chased after you, risked my life to protect you, looked after you, _cared for you_ , Arthur, and all that time, you couldn't even be bothered to listen when I spoke? When others spoke about me? I know you think I'm just some stupid, bumbling country girl you got stuck with, not even a half decent servant that you can't seem to get out of your hair, but after seven years, Arthur, I thought we were at least...I thought you cared for me. I thought we were friends." Merlynn cursed quietly as she wiped a lone tear from her cheek. "My apologies, Sire," she continued stiffly. "I told you once I would be happy to serve you until the day I die, and that's still true. I assure you my behavior will no longer reflect poorly on you, and I will mind my tongue. If you'll excuse me, Sire." She knelt to pick up the linens she had dropped in her anger. Arthur had crossed to her in three long and stilled her hands with his own before he realized he'd moved. She froze under his touch, eyes screwed shut.

"Please," she whispered brokenly, and there was no denying the horrible feeling in his chest at the sound.

"Look at me," he whispered. She shook her head. "Merlynn, look at me." Nothing. Finally, "Please look at me, Merlynn."

Merlynn took a great, shuddering breath and slowly raised her head to meet his eyes. Arthur nearly cried himself at the lost look on her face.

"Do you love me, Merlynn?"

She immediately began to scramble away, but he grabbed her shoulders to keep her still. "W-why would you even _ask_ that?"

"Merlynn, please answer my question."

She met his eyes again on 'please'; he had never said it so often before. "All of Camelot's citizens love their king, myself included," she sidestepped warily. Arthur sighed.

" _Mer_ lynn, really, don't put on your stupid act now. You and I both know what I mean."

Merlynn looked away from him for many moments, blinking heavily before meeting his eyes once again.

"Gods above, you fucking prat, of course I love you."

Arthur released the breath he'd been holding with an audible whoosh, dragging a surprised Merlynn to his chest and burying his own face in her curls. "Gods, Merlynn, you have no idea how longs I've wanted to hear you say that." She was limp in his arms, her voice muffled by his chest.

"Wh...what?"

"I can't believe...I never thought..."

Merlynn pulled away enough to look at him. "I don't understand."

"Well apparently we're both idiots now," Arthur said. "From the moment I saw you, Merlynn, I thought you were beautiful, and then you turned out to be so bloody irritating and then suddenly you were my maidservant. I was furious with Father, your beauty was _not_ worth your attitude." He grinned at the elbow she shoved into his ribs. "But then you weren't just irritating, you were funny. And then you were witty. And then you were sweet. And then you were kind. And suddenly you were this incredible woman wrapped in a layer of infuriating snark and...you were a servant. Someone my father would never allow me to be with."

Arthur sighed, shifting them so their backs rested against his door, Merlynn tucked securely under his arm. She tensed for a moment before relaxing into his side, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder and her drawn knees to rest on his thigh. Arthur's head was swimming at the easy contact.

"When I ignored you at first Merlynn, it was because I couldn't be bothered. Later it was...it was to keep from falling more and more in love with a woman I could never have. Anything I learned about you only feuled the fire, so I just...I tuned it out. You, any conversation you came up in...I just shut myself down. Thought about battle strategies and training the knights. It worked."

They sat in silence for a very long time.

"Why didn't you say anything two years ago, when your father died and you became king?"

The question was curious, not accusing, but still flooded Arthur with guilt. "I was scared you'd reject me. We were as much friends as my rank would allow, and I didn't want to risk that if you didn't feel the same. And considering how I've treated you, I thought that was far more likely to be the case."

"You really are stupid," Merlynn sighed.

"Yes, I feel we've established that, thank you," Arthur groused, but he felt his heart soar at her giggle. He pressed a kiss to her head, before sitting them both up fully, facing her. "I love you, Merlynn."

Her answering smile was radiant. "I love you too, Arthur," she said, pulling him to her for a long, sweet kiss. They were both laughing when they parted.

"Marry me, Merlynn. Be my queen."

Merlynn stopped laughing at that, and suddenly she was terrified. "Um...about that, I..."

" _What_?" Arthur asked, releasing her and falling back against his door dramatically. "What could possibly keep you from marrying me now?"

Merlynn bit her bottom lip, rising to her feet and pacing in front of him. "It's just, there's this - I have this secret and - I don't know how to tell you this, but-"

"Love."

Merlynn stopped pacing, a blush rising to her cheeks at the endearment.

"Love, I think I know what you're trying to tell me."

Her face crumbled. "I don't think you do, Arthur."

Arthur sighed. "Merlynn...it seems...it seems that while I never paid attention to the things you wanted me to notice, I was very good at noticing the things you didn't want me to know. I know you're a sorceress, love."

Merlynn's eyes widened as her hands flew to her mouth. "But, I don't...how could you...since when?"

"The Golden Trident. I heard you command the wyerns. I realized you were DragonKin and started watching you when you clearly didn't want to be watched. You've gotten much better at hiding it, if that helps."

Merlynn could only gape. "You let me make a fool of myself trying to cover my tracks when you _knew_ all these _years_?"

"Well it was amusing."

"You fucking prat!"

* * *

This is probably one of my favorite things that I've written. Frankly it wrote itself once I had a clear idea.

The magic reveal was unexpected and unintended - like I said, it really wrote itself.

I saw Merlin feminized to Merlynn in a couple of stories, and I loved it so I used it.

The song Merlynn plays is The Foxcatcher, as performed by Mairead Nesbitt of Celtic Woman.

I don't own the show Merlin or the song.

I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review!


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